I mean...just...wow. I am so happy for them, but can we please look at this photo a little further? Why do they look photoshopped when they're together!? I mean seriously...I couldn't find humor yeah so I'm lying in this photo just concern. When he walks in from a hard day's work does she just turn around, say, "Hey honey!" and unbuckle his pants? Notice how her knees have no bruises? Clearly it's because she doesn't have to get on them. I would love for there to be an essay contest to spend the day with these two because I would make sure I'd win. I'd play every sympathy/racial struggle card I could think of...and I would win[just look at my college application essays]. I want all of the tea, as a matter of fact
hold on, Jerry is tied to the train track and Tom is about to run him over...
Okay false alarm[he lives as usual], yeah, as a matter of fact, I would like to share just a few of the questions I would ask during my 24 hours with Shaq & Nicole.
- When you're going out with your partner, you shouldn't look like you're taking your daughter back-to-school shopping...SIR...does this ever bother you?
- I read Confessions of a Video Vixen so I pretty much how fornication goes down with you in the bedroom...but of course there are still questions...
- When she's on top, does she use your penis as a Sit-N-Spin?
Since she's pretty much half a mile from the rest of your body. - Does doggy-style make you think you're frottaging a stuffed animal?
- When it's really dark, and you're tired, do you give a thumbs up. Does she notice the difference?
- Okay, everything else is pretty graphic so let's try something simple: Did all of that bending down to kiss her give you scoliosis?
- Does she use Sonar to find you? Perhaps Echolocation?
Okay, those are just a few...but I need to make dinner so...
